Past glories

Recently, I re-read my old blog from day one up to the present day. I really enjoyed it, and was left thinking how amusing I was.

More recently (i.e. five minutes ago) I started doing a similar thing, with the aim of copying across some of my gems for posterity. I was dismayed to find out that they were all utter crap, and I am neither funny nor insightful. This was disappointing for me.

Many thanks to those who didn’t point it out at the time, as I would have found it upsetting.

Blog aims

Dear memory,

You are crap. Why do you let me leave the house without a tie? Why do you let me omit the “o” in ingenious, causing me to look like a misspelling fool? Why do… never mind, it’s gone.

This is what I want to do with the new blog:

1. Write on it more often
2. Copy some good bits of the old blog across so I can delete it without feeling nostalgic
3. Er… never mind

Don’t forget this stuff – it’s important!

Yours sincerely,

Chris

 

Dear Chris,

You have now written two boring posts that no-one other than you will want to read. That is not ingenius.

Yours truly,

Your memory

Mr Ed

(Those people who think this is a post about a talking horse should probably look away now.)

I have started a new blog. You already know this, as this is it. Hello!

This is mainly because I had “customised” my old blog to such an extent that I couldn’t work out how to do anything with it any more. I had pretended to learn how to use html or some other such made up language, and it looked all pretty, but when some spammer called “Ed” came along speaking in hieroglyphics (with the occasional word like “Nintendo Wii” chucked in the middle) I couldn’t work out how to delete him… so the whole blog had to go.

Also, I like the idea of blogging, but never seem to do it any more. And, you know, a fresh start and… yawn! I’m sorry, I was boring myself!

So, sorry about the lack of “hilarious” talking horses… I bet Youtube has some, look there!

Trains

Trains are fantastic at getting you from A to B.

You can read a book; you don’t get lost (mainly); you can even sleep, if you’re so inclined.

What they aren’t so good for is getting you to aforementioned point B at time C.

Or even at time D which is one hour later than C. (We could call it C+1 if you prefer!)

It is also less good at guaranteeing you won’t be sat next to E, who smells/talks at you/has a particularly aggressive form of mental illness.

Nor does it stop you from being dismissed rudely by F, the alleged customer services representative at B. (Remember B? It was the destination.)

Anyway, must go, I’ll be at B in five minutes.