So was the bloody titanic, mate

I was recently forced into the public toilets at Asda. Forced by the call of nature I mean, not at gunpoint.

I was mildly surprised to find a condom machine within.

For the record, the going price was two for £2. If you walk 50m to the actual till in Asda, you can get about fourteen for £6, always assuming that they aren’t on “buy one get one free” of course.

I am all in favour of condom machines in toilets, be safe and all that, but how cripplingly shy would you have to be to have to buy them in the toilet at that price? I would bet that you would have to be so shy that you would never be able to get anyone to have sex with you.

So anyway, that was my Asda toilet experience. I should probably point out that the title of this post is the grafitto that is written next to the British Standards Kite Mark on about 50% of the condom machines in Gents’ toilets. I included it for a cheap laugh.


One thought on “So was the bloody titanic, mate

  1. you’re thinking like an adult, when you perhaps should be thinking like a sixteen year old.

    Consider: there are two breeds of checkout assistant. One group consists of female students, generally in their late teens and early twenties. The other consists of older women, of an age with our hypothetical boy’s mum. (There are exceptions, such as the theoretical male assistant, but these are rare.)

    Now, at sixteen, which of the two groups would you prefer to buy condoms from? Especially if these are the only thing you need to buy at the time, so you can’t casually slip it in with your monthly shop?

    On one hand, we have an assistant about whom you’re already thinking naughty wrong thoughts (you’re sixteen, remember?), and who you desperately want to impress by not blushing bright red and running away in fear. On the other, there’s your mum, who would never approve of such things.

    (Now, in an ideal world, every teenager in the country would be given an unlimited and anonymous supply of free condoms, be shown in careful detail how to apply them, and be made to practice until such time as they get it right automatically. But we don’t live in an ideal world, so…)

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