Postcard

I received a postcard from the travelling duo this morning. It featured a picture of Hadrian’s Wall complete with a stick boy and stick girl drawn in. Evidently lots of pies are being eaten, Juliet is being over-walked and Chris is smelly and over sensitive. Sounds like a great holiday to me.

I am only posting this and telling you all that Chris smells (according to Juliet) because Chris made a nasty remark – on the postcard, can you believe?! – about my blogsitting. Apparently carrier bags do not interest people.

Now I am concerned that I have told you all Chris smells and that perhaps I shouldn’t have. Before they left, and I was handed the keys to this tulip (metaphorically speaking, obviously) Chris texted me and said:
“I should warn you that Juliet’s family read my tulip sometimes”.
Because, of course, my natural blogging nature is one of coarseness and vulgarity. My blog itself is full of insulting, degrading, offensive material. What did he think would happen when presented with the power of tulip sitting? That I would turn into a combination of the Vicar of Dibley and Graham Norton?! (This is based on the two people who upset my Mum most on TV). Honestly! You think you know someone…

xx

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9 thoughts on “Postcard

  1. Yes, you just watch that filthy mouth of yours Wenchy! We are an impressionable bunch, y’know. Hmm…what is it about The V of D which upsets your mum? It not been very funny is what always offended me.

  2. I think Chris only wishes he was half as interesting as you. Carrier bags are a great topic to discuss. And of course Chris is smelly, he’s a boy!

  3. My Mum’s a good C of E girl (whereas I am a bad one, of course) so I think largely it is that she’s a woman vicar but also I suspect she doesn’t like Dawn French anyway so it was never going to be a winner really!

  4. Ok. Let’s not be silly about this. Here’s why Chris smells.

    We had litrtle individual sleeping bags in the tent, the sort nthat are very tight around you to keep you warm on the icy mountain…

    Anyway, the first morning, in a bid to speed up a very slow Chris’s waking up process (so we could go and walk another 10 miles, would you believe!) I unzipped his sleeping bag. A couple of seconds later, a smell that is indescribable to the human nose emerged. It was the smell of all his farts that had built up in the closed sleeping bag during the night.

    Case closed; Chris smells

  5. I am really angry.

    Look, I have been known to smell on occasion. As Molly says, I am a boy. But I should point out that none of this would be an issue if we had gone to Spain and stayed in a hotel like I wanted rather than being stuck in a smelly tent being rained on/blown off a cliff.

    And I am not oversensitive! I am badly done to!

  6. Juliet, you are too funny! Thank God you had separate sleeping bags otherwise he would have been doing the wafting trick on you – farting, then turning over and wafting the hideous smell in your direction.

    Chris, I have been fortunate enough not to smell you personally but as you point out, you are a boy and that means you will always smell!

  7. Erm,

    Christopher, I do believe it was me who wanted to go to Spain, and you who refused to take me.

    The whole smelling incident did also highlight for me the fact that on a normal night Chris probably farts as much but does it on my leg

    Aaaarrggh!

  8. Juliet, you should definitely nag on the Spain thing – the Tart loved it so much we might be going back next month!

  9. I have just embarassed myself vastly laughing at Juliet’s comment in a scarily quiet library at Uni. And then once the damage seemed to have been undone after a sufficient quiet period, Chris made me burst out again. And now my neighbour has left!
    Funny blog!

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