Unusual phobia

They were cleaning the Gents’ toilets at work the other day.

This can only be described as a very good thing.

Unfortunately you can rarely have a very good thing without a corresponding very bad thing.

In this case, the very bad thing was me having to use the adjacent disabled toilet. Now, there is nothing wrong with this toilet; it functions in an identical way to the toilet I usually use next door. Except for one thing: you can’t reach the door from the “seated” position.

Until this epiphany, I was blissfully unaware that I am frightened of big toilets.*

I don’t know why but I can lock the door, check it, immediately sit down, but still be so unsure as to whether the door is locked that it… well… affects my performance.

And I think that is quite enough sharing for one day. For those people who like a beginning, middle and end, I eventually went next door.

Now, let’s never speak of this again.


* I suppose I mean big toilet rooms, although the idea of a big toilet is also terrifying.

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11 thoughts on “Unusual phobia

  1. This is no laughing matter!

    I am surprised there aren’t more sufferers of this crippling condition…

    I am going to start a gigantolavatoriphobic’s anonymous.

    {Minion}, you are welcome. I have a love/hate relationship with haiku. I may blog about it soon.

  2. At least he didn’t give us a detailed description of what he did in the toilet, that would be horrendous.

    Speaking of loos, they are very odd over here in America, they have gaps in the doors so people can sort of see you squatting or whatever position you choose to take. It is very disturbing and either makes you not able to go, or go very fast.

  3. Erm, seriously… do you think we are still going out after the sleeping bag incident and now this story?

  4. I’m so glad you changed your profile. It was amusing when you wrote it but had been going on far too long!

    You are very chilled out actually, you’re spot on

  5. Big toilets are daunting though, I did see a video of a big toilet being demo’d in milton keynes (sp?) recently. It is apparently for the lard asses in the British populations for who our petite porcelain thrones are just too weak.

    I think if you need a toilet that is specially constructed to support you girth then their should be a vacuum fitted to said toilet to help suck some of that excess weight out of your lard ass.

    Sorry, but fat people upset me as they did it to themselves and make us all pay for their self inflicted problem.

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