Public transport. Yes, again!

Here is a list of people you don’t want on your bus:

(1) Someone with open, running sores. On their face. One is nearly in their eye, for added unpleasantness.
(2) Someone who is listening to music on their mobile phone, with a speaker. They are holding it in the general direction of their ear, but mainly looking around to check that everyone else is indeed pissed off.
(3) Someone who is staring at you. Preferably, they should be chewing gum in an aggressive manner.
(4) Someone who has blood on their face and shirt. Quite a lot of it too. And it doesn’t look to be theirs.

All of these people were on my bus this morning. And I thought I lived in an all right neighbourhood too.

Here is a list of people that I have had on buses in the past (and really wanted to pretend had also been on this particular bus but didn’t want to stretch the bounds of credibility):

(5) Someone who smells of death.
(6) Someone (female) wearing nothing below the waist.
(7) Businessman talking about flipcharts, and being kept in “the loop”.
(8) Someone with six children and no way (e.g. a personality) to control them.
(9) Someone with six children and no desire to control them. (“Ah, brilliant, I’m on a bus. A chance to have a breather and pretend that these strangers have an obligation to look after my kids.”)

Reading these through, I was slightly shocked to learn that my most recent motley collection of bus hobbledyhoys were more amusing than all of the previous ones combined.

Seriously, I have never been so pleased to alight and go to work.


8 thoughts on “Public transport. Yes, again!

  1. the half naked female….
    did you stare?
    was she good looking?
    or didn’t you look up that far?
    did you get hard? semi? was it your mother?
    was it my mother??
    was she the one with six kids….

  2. Argh! How could someone as disturbing as a person who is semi naked on a bus be that interesting, Inconsequential?! I will never understand boys…

  3. You do realise that nakidity is not something obscene, but something beautiful, don’t you Welshy?

    That said – not with this minger!

    She had clearly been “out” the previous night. I can only guess at the events that preceded the pantless bus incident.

    The bit where the bus stopped suddenly and she headbutted the top of the seat in front made me laugh though!

  4. Nakedness on a bus is not beautiful, it is disturbing!! Don’t try making me out to be a prude when all I am thinking is that something quite horrible must have happened to have put her in a situation like that. Although this was Derby, right? Hmmm, perhaps I can reconsider…

  5. Someone who smells of death… what exactly does death smell like Chris? *sniggers*…

    all i can say is thank god my wheelchair doesn’t fit on any bus…

  6. Haaa haa!!!! I love the ‘smell of death’, was just wondering what it meant also!
    I agree with Welsherelle, half naked lady is very alarming, it’s not nice thought.

  7. Seriously, if you had been there you would know exactly what I am talking about.

    This person smelt so bad that I found myself mentally counting back from the front of the bus to check which seat he was in – that way I could never sit in that seat again.

    Buses – bah!

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