A sad, sad day.
Back to the dialogue then, as that is the easiest way:
Me: “Billy*, we have had this washing machine for a while now. How do I change the filter that holds all the fluff?”
Billy: “Um… good question.”
Later… (after Billy finishes trying to pull random bits off the front):
Billy: “I don’t think you have to. I think it does it automatically.”
Me: “That doesn’t sound very likely.”
Billy: “No, really, I think it is automatically flushed out with the water.”
Me: “What, the water after it has dried all the clothes?”
Me: “Seriously, you have to empty these things. I am an expert on tumble driers. Trust me. The fluff can’t possibly go anywhere, as if it could get through any gaps to escape then so could your socks.”
Billy: “Hang on, I’ll look on the internet.”
Me: “Look, Ben… er, I mean Billy, the internet will be of no use. This is a washing machine. You need the instruction manual.”
Juliet: “Actually dear, they do sometimes have the manual online these days.”
Me: “Oh hello dear, I didn’t realise you were in this story. Really?”
Me: “Shall we have one of those pauses that allows Billy to say the next ridiculous thing?”
Billy: “You see: it says in this review that you don’t have to. It has an automatic self filtering system.”
Billy: “Yes, look, this customer says that she has had hers for eighteen months. She has three cats and a dog and has never had to clean out the drying filter.”
Me: “Oh. All right then.”
Juliet: “Don’t worry dear, it was bound to happen eventually… You can’t always be right.”
Me: [chunter chunter] “Enough of your cheek young lady. I’m going to bed.”
* The names have been changed to protect the
innocent goon I live with!
I was out of bed at this point, if anyone is interested.
Me: “Um, Billy. The washing machine has stopped drying my clothes… It is flashing. It says ‘F-13’. I think F may stand for FAULT.”
Billy: “Er… let me google it.”
Billy: “Oh. It says Fault 13 means that the filter is blocked with fluff.”
I was wrong for a whole 45 minutes. It was rubbish. I am determined to never let this happen again!
NOTE: it would be churlish to suggest that you google “WD860 review” and read the articles, or indeed suggest that you google “WD860 F13” and read all the hilarious “worst thing I have ever bought” complaints, so I won’t. Well done me.