Here are two “unrelated” conversations.
Other person: “I have this book on how to make sure your wedding goes smoothly.”
Me: “Good idea, Other Person.”
Other person: “It says here that if you don’t particularly want someone to come, you can just say things like ‘I know you have a long way to come, and I am sure we can find you somewhere to sleep on the floor’.”
Me: “Ha ha, very amusing, Other Person.”
I’d say comfortably four minutes later, the second conversation took place.
Other Person: “Ooh, I know! When you come to my wedding, you and Juliet could camp!”
Me: “Um, well I’m not sure if that would be suitable, Other Person. After all, we will be quite smartly dressed.”
Other Person: “I mean, we don’t exactly have any facilities… and really it’s just a field with a few bulls in it… but I’m sure you’d have a great time!”
Me: “-” (this is actually me, speechless)
The eagle-eyed amongst you may have noticed that this new candidate for Worst Friend Ever is in fact the same person as the old candidate. The question is this: Does Welshy want me to go to her wedding? What should I do?!