Sit down, sit down. We’ve known each other a while now. Take off your shoes. Your hair looks lovely by the way*.
Me and Juliet have been having a disagreement. It stretches back a few years now, and I thought you might be good people to arbitrate. The question is “Is Chris a bad person?”
The Chris that is mentioned in the question is me. Hello! [waves]
This is a general question of course. But it refers in this case to a specific incident. Or as Juliet would probably rather say, a SPECIFIC INCIDENT. (Those who remember THE CHOCOLATE INCIDENT would be well advised to forget about it instantly, as it has no relevance here.)
Me and Juliet were living together at the time, our young love coming out of our very ears. Juliet, however, was most disgruntled with my behaviour on returning from the supermarket one day. Somewhat surprisingly, I unpacked the shopping with no incident, but as Juliet was not in I attached the receipt to the mirror in the hallway.
As some of the shopping was mine, and some hers, I had highlighted (with half an eye on tradition) the various items in pink and blue highlighter in order for her to pay me her share on her return.
All fine, you would think, wouldn’t you? What she took violent exception to was the fact that I had split joint items in two so we could share the cost. Moreover, being of a mathematical inclination, I had felt that splitting things like a bag of sugar 50:50 would be unfair, as I take two sugars in a cup of tea and she only has one. So I had worked out the percentage estimated use for each shared item (not as simple as merely 2:1 as she had more cups of tea than me.)
Apparently, for a shared flat this is considered to be rude behaviour?
Anyway, I would be delighted to hear your opinions. As the title indicates, there will be a part two, so if you suspect what this part two might be, I would ask you keep it to yourself and let people concentrate on my (alleged) badness in part one first.
Ta ta for now!
* not you Welshy.