Is Chris bad? (Part one)

Hi there!

Sit down, sit down. We’ve known each other a while now. Take off your shoes. Your hair looks lovely by the way*.

Me and Juliet have been having a disagreement. It stretches back a few years now, and I thought you might be good people to arbitrate. The question is “Is Chris a bad person?”

The Chris that is mentioned in the question is me. Hello! [waves]

This is a general question of course. But it refers in this case to a specific incident. Or as Juliet would probably rather say, a SPECIFIC INCIDENT. (Those who remember THE CHOCOLATE INCIDENT would be well advised to forget about it instantly, as it has no relevance here.)

Me and Juliet were living together at the time, our young love coming out of our very ears. Juliet, however, was most disgruntled with my behaviour on returning from the supermarket one day. Somewhat surprisingly, I unpacked the shopping with no incident, but as Juliet was not in I attached the receipt to the mirror in the hallway.

As some of the shopping was mine, and some hers, I had highlighted (with half an eye on tradition) the various items in pink and blue highlighter in order for her to pay me her share on her return.

All fine, you would think, wouldn’t you? What she took violent exception to was the fact that I had split joint items in two so we could share the cost. Moreover, being of a mathematical inclination, I had felt that splitting things like a bag of sugar 50:50 would be unfair, as I take two sugars in a cup of tea and she only has one. So I had worked out the percentage estimated use for each shared item (not as simple as merely 2:1 as she had more cups of tea than me.)

Apparently, for a shared flat this is considered to be rude behaviour?

Anyway, I would be delighted to hear your opinions. As the title indicates, there will be a part two, so if you suspect what this part two might be, I would ask you keep it to yourself and let people concentrate on my (alleged) badness in part one first.

Ta ta for now!

* not you Welshy.


22 thoughts on “Is Chris bad? (Part one)

  1. Not necessarily bad per se. But definitely in keeping with the ‘pedantry’ theme that’s been mentioned more than once.

  2. Oh my sweet tooth! You would drive me nuts! Who does things like that? Good grief!

    Juliet, you must have the patience of [insert name of non-religious famous person who is very very patient, as I can’t think of any].

  3. I remember the chocolate incident quite well and am still surprised to this day that you lived to tell the tale.

    Yes, I think you are bad and not because I just have to disagree with you, but because you are so feckin’ particular that it is downright annoying! Juliet should have force fed you that receipt and not paid you a penny!

    Bring on part two, I’m enjoying Chris-bashing!

  4. Well, I think you are all very rude…

    … there is nothing wrong with being particular!

    And Welshy, I deleted your comment because you are an idiot. I will re-instate it after “Is Chris bad? (Part two)” lest people think I am censoring you.

    If you read Welshy’s comment, please disregard it!

  5. I have to agree with comment one.

    Technically not bad but highly anal.

    Any reason why not just 50/50 on the total?

    Oh also, hi, I’m Lucy and I just insulted you in my first comment (sorry)

  6. Firstly, thanks for noticing the hair. I was thinking of dying it again but since it looks so fabulous I’ll just leave it.

    I live in a share house, and we each buy our own food and store it in our own cupboards. THAT would be pedantry in a relationship.

    And as far as the chocolate incident (which I read and am not going to comment there). You are a very stupid man. You NEVER have more chocolate than the woman. EVER.

  7. Your mistake there was in not discussing finances ahead of time. The key question is “is it my money and your money, or is it OUR money?” Assuming the former, then it’s entirely right that the cost of shared items should be split, and should be split according to usage.

    The alternative is for each of you to do your own shopping, maintain your own supplies, and so forth, exactly as you would if you were just two random students who happened to be in the same flat.

    However, you were entirely in the wrong over the Chocolate Incident, so the jury is still out on the “Is Chris Bad?” question.

    In unreleated news, the word verification string for this comment is entirely illegible. So, if you can’t see this, can someone let me know? Thanks.

  8. Lucy,

    I saw no insult!

    50:50 would be inappropriate as it would have disadvantaged one person.

    Seriously, girls also use more toilet paper… I considered factoring that in!

    Phishez… chocolate is not a woman’s right! You must win it by good behaviour!

    Stephen, I always have to have at least 3 attempts on the word verification.

    And to answer your point, we were two random students… two very random students.

  9. Chris, I’m very disappointed in you. That sort of tight-assery is not attractive.

    I mean, why would you go to the trouble of working out what percentage of the sugar she uses? Is her love not worth the extra 55p or whatever?

    Being married, everything is “ours”, so I don’t have to worry about this type of issue. I can be a tight-ass cos I’m poor, but what we used to do was, “I’ll get it this time, you get it next time”, or, “I’ll get dinner, you buy the movie tickets.”

    I would’ve left you on that day. For real.

    Renminds me of a friend of Mr Belle’s. The occasion of our first meeting was a large group at dinner. At the end, when everyone else was working out what an 8th of the bill would be, he worked out the exact cost of what he and his girlfriend had eaten, put exactly that in, and turned to her, gazed into her eyes and lovingly said “You can pay me back later.” I never grew to like him as much as any of Mr Belle’s other friends.

    On the other hand, I’m actually with you on the chocolate incident, because my husband always eats more chocolate than I do. We always eat it in at least 2:1 ratio. He is bigger than me!

    Juliet – were you an only child or something? You must learn to keep your eye on the block if you want more than a couple of squares!

  10. Chris, If you were on the dole or living on very little money at the time you did this (divided the sugar up on the bill) I could let this ride. But assuming you had an income of over 200 pounds a week I would say that splitting cheap items like this (splitting sugar grains) is not on, it’s just petty, in my opinion.

  11. I am quite enjoying all the hatred being directed at me…

    I will do part two later, see if it makes you dislike me more or less!

    PS SouthernBelle, she was driving at the time, she couldn’t really keep an eye on me… you are right though, I am more deserving of chocolate.

    Tight-assery is a brilliant word.

  12. I want to read Welshy’s comment! Why did you delete it? That is rude, no?

  13. I will reinstate it.

    But it contained compromising information that can only be revealed tomorrow!

  14. See, you are truly a very, very bad person. Well done on your absolutely shocking nature

    Still love you just about though


  15. *chorus* awwww

    Juliet you are a lovely girl! and so apparently patient and forgiving.

  16. Does Part 2 detail your work running a soup kitchen and/or curing sick animals?

  17. I’m starting to think that might have to be part 3…

    SJ, this is because I suggested you had the clap isn’t it?! Terribly sorry about that!

  18. Where is my reinstated comment?! Also, when you reinstate me I hope you will link to the post where you completely condemned me as an awful friend for forgetting a teensy weensy piece of information about you. See, I do listen after all!

  19. yeah, that and having the ability to pass something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon.

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