Is Chris bad? (Part two)

Me: “Um, dearest?”
Juliet: “Yes?”
Me: “You seem a bit tense.”
Juliet: “I’m angry with you because of the thing with the receipt.”
Me: “Er… the thing with the receipt?”
Juliet: “Where you highlighted the receipt to make me pay you. You even split the joint stuff, and worked out how many tea bags we used, and stuff like that.”
Me: “Er… when did I do that?”
Juliet: “Last night.”
Me: “Last night?”
Juliet: [pause] “In my dream.”

[pause]

Me: “I… see. I’m sorry about that… Er, exactly how is that my fault?”
Juliet: “There’s no smoke without fire.”
Me: “Right, yes I have heard that phrase… what could it possibly mean in this context?”
Juliet: “Well, when you dream things it’s because of things that have happened throughout the course of the day… So you must have done something yesterday.”
Me: “I must have done something yesterday?”
Juliet: “Yes. There’s no smoke without fire.”
Me: “Ri-ight… Um, it couldn’t have been when I went to the shop could it?”

[pause]

Juliet: “Maybe.”
Me: “Oka-ay. Here, why don’t you have this chocolate…”

Back. Away. Slowly.

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18 thoughts on “Is Chris bad? (Part two)

  1. Sorry, Welshy, turns out I can’t reinstate your comment after all…

    For those who are interested it read:

    “Was this not all in a dream?… *frowns in confused manner*
    Are you saying my hair does not look lovely? I think that is very bad of you!”

    I expected everyone else to be confused, Welshy. I mean how could such a nice person as me be so bad…?

    But you? You had heard the whole story before! You should have been fine!

    Your hair looked very nice today by the way. And thanks for saying I looked like Colin Firth.

    (I don’t if anyone was wondering.)

  2. I think the fact that your pedantry has invaded her very subconsciousness is very very bad indeed. As is casting aspersions that Welshy’s hair isn’t lovely.
    As a woman, I choose to change my mind about things willy nilly.

  3. Which of course you have the right to do as you are complex emotional creatures!

    If sometimes a bit deranged!

  4. Being deranged is the fun part, it amuses us as men never know what to expect.

    Well even though I think you are awful for saying “silence dog’ to Juliet, you have redeemed yourself somewhat and Juliet is the one that sounds a bit mad this time around! But it is still no excuse for the Chocolate Incident!

  5. I take it all back! Juliet’s the one who would drive me nuts!

    I believe you deserve the extra chocolate.

  6. So, what we’re saying is that Juliet is in fact Phoebe from Friends?

    Yeah, I can see that…

  7. I knew Part 2 and didn’t even realise! It’s still amusing though, and you both seem perfectly matched 🙂

  8. hehehe

    what a relief, I can stop hating on you (hating *on* is different to hating, btw) and get back to enjoying your blog!

  9. OK, OK, so you’re not quite as bad as all that (we still know about the Chocolate incident so you don’t get off scott free…). If it had happened in real life, you would have been a very bad person. As it didn’t I think I’m prepared to let it go. After all, I had a dream last night (which freaked me out a bit) where Graham didn’t want to marry me and then we all got killed by a random lot of historians. Don’t ask, I don’t know.

    Anyway, the point of the story is that dreams don’t always bear any relation to the truth.

    In conclusion (sorry, being a bit longwinded here today) you’re not all that bad a person and you did offer chocolate at the end so bonus points to you 🙂

  10. Ellie is right, dreams don’t bear any relation to the truth (she says crossing her fingers that Welshy does not have a chav wedding with bridesmaid dresses that do not fit and no flowers!)

  11. Ha ha ha!
    But I entirely understand how Juliet felt – I regularly have dreams where I spend the next day traumatised/worried/whatever because of them and can never quite pinpoint/remember the cause of the worry until Husbink reminds me of my dream…
    On a different note, I suspect Ellie has been reading “too much” (if such a thing were possible) Jasper Fforde if she dreamt about being killed by a bunch of historians (it seems like the kind of thing that would happen to Thursday)…

  12. Oooh I love properly bonkers girl logic. Very important. Keeps boys on their toys and all.

  13. See, I don’t get that, not at all. The ‘logic’ here is obviously insane, so how can it possibly be considered a good thing to “keep boys on their toes”? All it does is wind us up and annoy us for no good reason at all. And this sort of thing is both quite common and, it would appear, becoming more common all the time.

    Do you really want to be thought of as unreliable, unreasonable, and downright insane?

  14. Oh, Stephen. *shakes head indulgently*

    There are sensible girls out there (I’ve heard), but they’re no bloody fun!

    The thing about crazy girl logic
    is, it’s like being manic depressive (tongue WAY in cheek here): it’s so great when she’s super in love with you, and you just have to learn to dispense extra hugs & compliments one week out of four!

    Also, with a cute girl, even crazy dream-induced anger can be cute! Plain girls can’t be as crazy as cute girls. Sorry, but I’m being honest, (and I won’t tell you which camp I fall into).

  15. Guffaw!

    Logical Girl Insanity versus Anal Boy Rationality.

    Match made!

  16. Many many eons ago I managed to turn up to school with the books for the next day because I’d dreamt that day already and it was so real it took me a while to realise what the hell had happened.

    As for reading ‘too much’ Jasper Fforde, I’m not sure that it is quite possible (in the same way that too much Terry Pratchett isn’t possible) but I do have to admit I’ve recently re-read the whole lot which poses the question ‘how on earth did you know?’. You didn’t dream it did you? 😉

  17. Meva, spot on, although you may have made an enemy of Juliet for life… I am having some now… Mmmm!

    Stephen, a great comparison. I will call her Princess Consuela from now on.

    Pomgirl… how did you know part two?!

    ‘Belle, how bad of you to have believed it of me in the first place!! Actually that applies to all of you! You know that being a comedy pedant doesn’t equate with being a miser don’t you?!

    Ellie… “As it didn’t [happen in real life] I think I’m prepared to let it go.” You think?! You are just as bad!! Hmmm, yes I suppose it’s okay! Tchah, women!

    Molly, I am sure Welshy will have a nice wedding. (Welshy, have you decided whether Molly gets an invite yet?)

    LondonGirl, keeping boys on their toys is important, for example the Wii. On their toes is not so good. We might just get bored of being on our toes all the time. And sit down.

    Stephen, “unreliable, unreasonable, and downright insane”. Yep, absolutely… actually no that is maybe a bit harsh! Although you get brownie points for a nice Oxford comma!

    Better to think of it as quirky and loveable, then you will be able to laugh it off… for example Juliet is very good at taking abuse like “you know that’s mental don’t you” and “look, R-tard, you’re deranged, ok?” which means we can all laugh about it (and I make a mental note to make sure she does all the shopping*).

    SouthernBelle… one week in four?! I’m not sure I understand you. That is something I would never dare to refer to! Everyone knows that women are the same all month and any little differences are the man’s fault! Any resemblence to a Potential Murder Suspect (acronym intended) is purely coincidental!

    V, yes we get on well. I always think a sign of a good relationship is that you can have the following conversation:

    A: “Look unless you behave better I will have to get another girl/boyfriend.”
    B: “You wouldn’t be able to, dear; remember your looks.”
    A: “But I am funny!”
    B: “Only to look at. Now stop sulking.”

    But maybe we are weird. Well I mean, we are weird, but you know what I mean.

    Ellie, that is excellent. Have you read “House of Sleep” by Jonathan Coe… go do so now if not!**

    * as well as the cooking and the cleaning, natch.
    ** Pomgirl – I don’t know what you are relaxing for – go and read Immortality now!

  18. See now I have to take back the highly anal comment I left on the last post.

    And while I’ve had very odd conversations with friends about previous discussions/arguments we’ve had (which turned out I’d only dreamt) I’ve never gotten angry with said person.

    If only because it would make me look slightly mad. And unreasonable.

    But chocolate earns kudos points.

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