Captain Collie

I have been away in Leeds this weekend. I got the train both ways. People who know me may be surprised to learn that Virgin (my provider of “choice” on this occasion) didn’t do anything bad to incur my pissedoffness.

On the way back it was, however, very busy, and so I had to sit next to someone. She had an enormous bag on her seat and I thought she was being really rude, but it turns out it was full of bricks or rocks or something, and she was too weak to lift it onto the rack. And don’t think I’m being patronising, it was really heavy. I know because I smiled in a manly fashion (in my head anyway) and said “I’ll have a go” at which point I did a few grunts and decided it might be better off under our feet.

If there is one thing I hate more than sitting next to a person on a train, it is having them talk to me, but I was pleasantly surprised that when we got talking (read: she broke through my miserable old bugger persona) she was pleasant and willing to go on amusing conversational tangents which would lead most people to bury their head in their newspaper.

All of this is my long, boring preamble to explain why we ended up dusting off an idea for a children’s book that she had had 15 years ago, the Eponymous “Captain Collie”.

Captain Collie (potential first name “Rusty” although this is not definite) is the captain of a ship on the Seven Seas who fights pirates, rescues damsels and is a Border Collie. He has a retinue of other salty sea dogs, and there is a cast of baddies and a princess and everything. We fleshed out the main characters and cast the inevitable movie version (it should be good, it has Sean Connery and Antonio Banderas in it) and discussed basic plots.

I like to think she will write it and I will get a mention in the preface.


4 thoughts on “Captain Collie

  1. I like it when chats with random strangers go well. I’ve met some very interesting people that way. Of course the downside is also occasionally getting into a conversation with someone who proves to be so dull you have to get off at dudley or somewhere else odd and get back on the train in a different carriage to avoid them.

    Look forward to seeing the adventures of captain collie.

  2. I ALWAYS seem to get the random weirdos. And they bitch and moan and complain about shit. No matter how much you ignore them, they just seem to think its an opening for them to fill with their endless worthless words.

    I wouldn’t mind so much if it were someone positive, and I think I’d have to change my underwear afterwards if it were someone interesting.

  3. You do realise that some random person may read your blog and steal the idea and market it, thus shattering all hopes of fame and glory. Like when I was eight and at Lakeside shopping centre in M&S telling my dad about the idea I had for a cartoon about an orchestra with instruments who are alive that has adventures and you learn about lots of music. At the time my dad said, that I shouldnt mention such ideas in public because you never know who may be listening. And then about 2 years later, Oscar’s orchestra the cartoon came onto the TV!!! Coincidence I am sure of course, but still, you never know…

    I rarely get interesting people on trains, usually random drunks who will not leave me alone…

  4. Dudley is very odd.

    And my underwear was fine thanks… we were talking about animated dogs, I tried to concentrate on that!

    If anyone reads this and actually develops Captain Collie I will be most disgruntled. I negotiated a 20% share with the girl on the train, I would need at least 30% from someone else… my lawyers are waiting. Bring it on, you people who read and don’t comment!

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