In Britain, if you are 25 or under you are entitled to a discount card that entitles you to 33% off rail travel. The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice that I am now 26. This makes me Not Young any more as far as the rail operators are concerned.
Because of this, I needed to go and replace my Young Person’s Railcard on 28 June to get another year of cheap travel. But (of course) I forgot, mainly because I am crap like that, but also because I haven’t been travelling on the train for the last week because of the incredible things they have been doing to the timetable.
But, as I surfaced on the 29th, full of the joys of summer (it was raining) did I feel resentful? Of course not! How well do you know me?
The Scene: Derby Station, 9:03PM
Me: Hello! Please help! It’s an emergency!
Man in ticket office: Yes?
Me: I have to be 25 to get a Young Person’s Railcard, don’t I?
Me: Thank goodness I caught you. I was born at 9:23PM on 29 June, I’m here just in time!
MITO: [inspects my old card] So, your birthday is today?
Me: Well, I mean technically it is, yes.
MITO: I’m afraid we take your birthday to start at midnight.
Me: If I get my mum to come in and promise I was an evening birth, will you give me a railcard then?
Me: Are you going to wish me a happy birthday?
MITO: [raises his eyebrow]
And the thing is, if I had taken him and pushed him under one of the trains, they’d have called me the criminal.