Talking or eating?

I think it was Welshy who first brought my attention to the possibility of having wedding speeches before eating rather than after. And Knig Steffen has also been known to allude to it, albeit subtly.

I am somewhat divided on the issue (insomuch as I can be, given that I am so well-adjusted and all!)

1. I prefer speeches after. (Quite basic this one.)
2. But… I am reliably informed people get nervous about speaking.
3. But… they are wusses, and should get on with it.
4. But… I need to keep my best man happy so he doesn’t infest our special day with vicious lies.
5. But… I will be hungry and so will other guests, and you don’t want them not listening through hunger.
6. But… I don’t want to actually make the other speakers unhappy.
7. But… you can have the starters already out on display as people arrive if you do the eating first, and it might look pretty.
8. But… we probably aren’t having starters!
9. But… People need time for their food to settle down before shaking their bootay on the dance floor.

I don’t know. I suppose the first thing to do is to speak to the relevant parties and find out how concerned they are.

What do you think?! Before or after?


16 thoughts on “Talking or eating?

  1. Lo! I went for after … I think … can anyone remember?

    1. Traditional
    2. Neither my best man who did the speech nor I are the type to get nervous about public speaking (father of the bride is a bit … but he did a great job nonetheless)
    3. Those who are likely to get nervous are going to get nervous whether it’s before or after the meal, and in similar measures
    4. I prefer after

    On the other hand, given that I won’t be there …

  2. Ah, but the thing is that if people are going to get really nervous, then before is better. That way, they can get the speeches over and done with, and thus enjoy the meal. If the speeches are after, they probably won’t eat much, which is less than ideal when they probably haven’t eaten much all day.

    Also, if one of the three people giving speeches is known for being long-winded, having the speeches before the meal may also have the benefit of encouraging them to keep their comments short. (Or, it might lead to all the food getting cold.)

    All that said, I’m sticking with my first answer: it’s your day.

  3. Are you implying that I talk too much?

    On the other hand, if speeches are before the meal then the hypothetical nervous person will be nervous during the photos and receiving line – the photos (one of the permanent mementoes of the day) will have a distracted member and the receiving line will become a dwindling countdown of doom. I think either way some part of the day is going to be ruined for them.

    Also, it’s nothing to do with RJ! (Just thought I’d mix it up a bit.)

  4. I vote for before.

    I think Ric said it right: if people are going to be nervous they’re going to be nervous anyway so you may as well get it out of the way so then the meal is all chilled out (but hopefully not cold).

  5. I think Ric is right too, who is this RJ character?!

    And SouthernB… “vote”?!! Pfft, you think I am running some sort of democracy here?!

  6. Captain Ric won’t be there?! I’m not coming! (Joking, obviously! I am excited about meeting Stephen and the chips. Not meeting the chips; eating them.) We had speeches before and it was very nice for le Tart and my Dad but the best man’s speech was quite long (though very entertaining) and I was conscious that a few people were looking a bit faint. But that may have been the heat, rather than hunger. Surely there will be bread and butter with the chips? I will snack on that if I get peckish, so don’t worry about me 🙂 x

  7. Welshy, you will be playing the viola! You will have to wait!
    (PS. no news from your string quartet guy yet!?)

  8. Yeah, two of our friends are getting married on that same day, and the Captain had agreed to do the piping before they set the date. So, he’s going to stick around and play for them.

    To be honest, I think he just didn’t want to be defeated in the barn dance competition.

  9. Stephen, it is NOT a competition!!

    You are just supposed to enjoy yourself!

    I feel a bit like we are depriving them of the rest of your family, I didn’t know it was friends of everyone. Maybe I should suggest they reschedule? What is their phone number?

  10. Actually, I’ve already tried that. Curiously, that suggestion was met with slightly less enthusiasm than I had expected.

    Also, what do you mean it’s not a competition? Have you even met me?

  11. It is true. I won’t be there! I apologise to y’all, but I shall be quite a long way away piping and watching my wife be a matron of honour. Hee hee. I remind her that she’s that and not “chief bridesmaid” as often as I can.

    This will, unfortunately, deny you all the opportunity of witnessing just how much I outstrip Stuvven by at dancing – you’ll just have to take my word for it. It’s a lot.

    Weddings aren’t competitions?

    I was going to cancel my piping and come to the wedding, in order that we were represented at both events. But the wife informed me that, as it will be the day before our own wedding anniversary, that that wouldn’t be acceptable. Selfish, I say!

  12. That is selfish, you should definitely take her in hand and enforce your husbandly rights.

    (Not those ones.)

    I am enjoying mangling Steebb’n’s name. I wonder how long it will be before it is spelt “d8llu333k!!!”

    In fact, I might just start calling him by whatever my word verification is.

  13. It’s all the people who won’t get to dance with me that I feel sorry for. Stuvon really is a poor substitute.

    I will also not get the opportunity to say hello to any of the blog-people who will be attending the event. In particular, who is this RJ character who keeps posting comments?

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