What about Winnie Bago?

One of the joys of expecting a bundle of joy is that you get to think about what to name it. The unsuspecting fruit of your loins will then bear this name for the rest of his/her life.

But, as Peter Parker would say, with great power comes great responsibility. You wouldn’t want your son or daughter having to deal with a name like Spazbag, would you? And equally, when introduced to your offspring, who wouldn’t want a third party’s first reaction to be “What a name! These parents must be witty, erudite and generally charming people!” No-one, that’s who.

But sometimes, maybe when you and your partner have been discussing it for a few hours, inspiration runs dry. And you have to look on the internet on one of those naming websites.

Which is where I found the following gem:

“White, fair”
Famous Winnies include Winnie the Pooh

Sadly, I began to suspect I had not stumbled upon the most high quality website when I also found:

“Stranger, foreigner”
Famous Barbies include Barbie (plastic doll)

If you want something doing properly, do it yourself!*

For those commenters who still exist, please resist the temptation to offer suggestions for our baby’s name in the comments. RJ and I have already essentially got a short list, and this post is not a cry for help! Although I expect you would all be of more use than the above website.


* and kill Baldrick before you start, naturally.


7 thoughts on “What about Winnie Bago?

  1. When we were trying to choose a name for FunnyKid, the Pretend Husband found an on-line list of “tough guy names.” Among our options were Hunter, Rocco, Ryker, Steve and Paul. While I can get behind the first three as being kind of tough, the last two leave me stumped. Steve and Paul as tough guys? Not in my book. (We didn’t use any of these names, by the way).

    Congratulations on your impending bundle of joy!

    • Thanks!

      Wasn’t Ryker the trombone-playing one with a beard from Star Trek?

      I can’t find it in myself to think this is tough in any way!

      I hope you went for Krull the Warrior King.

  2. When The Nephew was a but a wee little zygote, Sister and i went through a (proper!) names directory, and though there weren’t unfortunately any gems the likes of Winnie and Barbie, we did find these:

    Calvin — he who is balding


    Vlass — he who stutters

    Oh, how we larff and larff!

    ps: Apologies if any of your loved ones are named as such. I’m sure they are lovely attractive people. And yes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with balding or stuttering people. It was just the hormones. We are bad French (speaking) people.
    pps: FÉLICIATIONS!!! 🙂

  3. I like V-v-v-v-vlass.

    And yes my Uncle Vlass is very disappointed in your taste.

    Also – what do you call a man who only has a small bald patch? Calvin Klein!

    PS merci bien.

  4. I remember when I was in Year 7 at school, my Home Economics teacher was having a baby and we held a vote (draw names out of the hat) for what she was to call it. The names she drew out were Griselda (girl)and Animal (boy). Animal has certain fun muppet sentimentalities, but WHY would anyone seriously call their child Griselda- it’s such a vile name!

  5. Seriously?

    Your teacher let her 11 year olds name her baby?

    That is… brave! But then she ended up with the above names… who said it always had to be the teachers teaching the kids a lesson?

    Hopefully I am misreading you and you were instead offering these as unsolicited suggestions!!

    PS someone keeps coming to my blog by googling “Kezzie AG”… As this is now 50% of my traffic, I am considering helping them out and putting a banner up on the top of the blog to link to you… would you like to send me sponsorship money?

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