I knew him, Horatio

I was back at the railway station, reminiscing fondly over all the times I had received poor customer service that I could use to craft entertaining stories.

My eye rested on the departures board. It seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up.

Chris: “Hello. Can you tell me which platform the Matlock train is leaving from?”
Attendant: “Um… 2B.”
Chris: “Or not 2B, that is the question.”
Attendant: [pause] [stare] “Did you come all the way across here just to say that?”
Chris: [small voice] “Maybe.”
Attendant: “Get thee to a nunnery.”
Chris: “Good one!”

To: Hamlet [hamlet@denmark.com]
From: Chris [thechrlog@hotmail.co.uk]
Subject: FYI


So, I asked the staff at Derby station and they’re definite that it’s 2B.

Just thought you would want to know.

Also, I just found out via Wikipedia that your play is called “the tragical history of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark” and I wanted you to know that “tragical” is totally a made-up word.

Kind regards,



To: Chris [thechrlog@hotmail.co.uk]
cc: Bill [bill@shakespeare.com]
From: Hamlet [hamlet@denmark.com]
Subject: Re: FYI

Hi Chris,

That’s awesome, I’ve been worrying about it for years.

Bill – Chris is dissing your title.

PS Yorick says hi!



To: Hamlet [hamlet@denmark.com]
cc: Bill [bill@shakespeare.com]
From: Chris [thechrlog@hotmail.co.uk]
Subject: Re: FYI


Did you know that Claudius is banging your mum?

Kind regards,



To: Chris [thechrlog@hotmail.co.uk], Hamlet [hamlet@denmark.com]
From: Bill [bill@shakespeare.com]
Subject: Re: FYI



3 thoughts on “I knew him, Horatio

  1. In the interests of full disclosure the bit after they gave me the withering look is fictional.

    (I didn’t send the email either.)

  2. Pingback: October review « The Chrlog

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