Customer service is not hard

Engineering work has meant half the trains I take to work just don’t exist, and the others are taking a tortuous, circuitous route o’er hill and down dale. Reduced service has meant extremely busy trains. But you know me, I don’t like to complain.

Query (from customer on train):
“Hey! Come on! It’s ridiculously busy on this train! There’s nowhere to put my baby in his pushchair! You have to provide one! What if I was in a wheelchair?!”

Incorrect response (overheard):
“No we don’t, madam. You can’t get out of a wheelchair, but you can fold up your pushchair. So do that.”

Correct response:
“I do apologise. Unfortunately, the engineering works mean that we are experiencing unusually high demand on this service. I can tell you that carriage X has the most space, where you might find a seat. Hopefully, conditions will improve at Station Y, where many people alight.”

If pushed: “Although we are not obliged to make room for pushchairs, we do our best to accommodate your needs, but as stated these are exceptional conditions.”

Come on now, it’s not difficult. If you need to, then moan about how all customers are imbeciles to your long-suffering spouse when you get home. Or start a blog. But face-to-face, you must smile and smile and be a villain.

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